Friday 22 Sep 2017

HOMEWORK 9-22-17 ~ PRESIDENT DOTARD

The most searched single word last night was DOTARD. After Trumps insane U.N. speech threatening to destroy the entire country of North Korea, the WAR of words became totally nuclear. “Speak softly and carry a big stick,” was great advice, but we have a screaming unhinged bully doing all the talking. Obviously, he lacks “stick.”

Mueller’s Russia investigation is moving full-steam ahead. Trump lawyer Ty Cobb said, “It would be truly shocking if Paul Manafort tried to monetize his relationship with Trump.” For me, it would be truly shocking if he didn’t. Making money off Donald Trump is probably the least offensive reason to hook up with the DOTARD and the least offensive thing Manafort did.

Homophobe and disgraced Judge Roy Moore faces Luther Strange in the Alabama primary for Senate next week. The race has turned into competitive ass kissing and the ass, of course, is Donald Trump. Moore is in the lead. When will we split this country into North USA and South USA for real? It’s already split…just not yet on paper.

And while you were sleeping almost 3,000 soldiers from North Carolina and New York were deployed to…AFGHANISTAN. Sweet baby Jesus help us.

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Thursday 21 Sep 2017

HOMEWORK 9-21-17 ~ PISSY PEOPLE PISS ME OFF

Another lame attempt to Repeal and Replace Obamacare is about to go down in flames. As you know by now, the bill is co-authored by Senators Bill Cassidy of Louisiana and Lyndsey Graham of South Carolina, the two states at the vanguard of healthcare excellence. Seriously, they couldn’t find someone from Mississippi to get involved? As Jimmy Kimmel keeps showing you, this proposal would destroy all the progress that has been made in the 31 states that expanded Medicaid and the states that opened up Health Exchanges, but then Louisiana and South Carolina have nothing to lose. Do they?

Robert Mueller’s investigation of Manafort reaches back over a decade. This crosses Trump’s “red-line” but at least we have the comfort of knowing Trump hires only the best criminals who demonstrate a long and dedicated passion for crime.

And we still can’t get over Trump’s UN debut. After threatening to “totally destroy North Korea” in the morning, Trump spent the evening attacking the Emmy’s. This man is not afraid to conduct a two-front war. Trump threatens to annihilate 26 million people before lunch, and still has enough bile to be pissy about never winning an Emmy. What a man, what a man, what a mighty mighty good man.

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Wednesday 20 Sep 2017

HOMEWORK 9-20-17 ~ LORD OF WAR

Trump became the Lord of War at the UN yesterday saying things like, “If the righteous many don’t confront the wicked few, then evil will triumph.” We’re not worried about “evil,” you dimwit. We’re worried about unstable lunatics—and you’re one of them. Trump declared, “We will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea.” That’s not how you show strength in international relations, but this is a guy who is more used to picking fights with Rosie O’Donnell. Trump went on to call Iran a “rogue nation” and to threaten Venezuela. How does any of this interventionism appeal to his lunatic base?

And…Obamacare care repeal is BAAAACK, like a bad movie. IF a bad movie could kill people. The bill divides states into two groups. RED states that don’t want to give their residents healthcare and BLUE states who won’t be able to afford to give their people healthcare. You know there’s a reason why “Pay more! Get less” never took off as a product slogan.

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